This Day... 4/16/12
This is where I am today....I've been married for one year, 9 months, and 24 days and I am now 39 weeks and 3 days pregnant with our first child, a boy we named Zane Tavior. Our marriage so far has been a journey, to say the least. I didn't expect it to always be lollipops and lilies, but I didn't expect it to be as challenging as it has either. But I don't mean that in a bad way. I've been forced to see myself differently, through my husband's eyes, and it's forced me to mature and grow personally. It's definitely been an experience to really see myself from the outside looking in.
I'm sure he's had the same experience with me. I can definitely tell that he's been forced to grow and mature as well. I see a lot of changes in him in just under two years. For example, I can tell that he has a different perspective of what it means to be a man and to be the head of a household. He's taken charge more, which for him, being the baby in his family and all, is huge. I must say that I'm proud of him, though I probably don't let him know often enough.
As for myself, one thing I learned about myself is that I'm a very selfish girl. Everyone is selfish to a certain extent, some more than others, but as I found out after marriage, it isn't as it seems to merge your whole life with another person's. Yet, that's exactly what God calls you to do in marriage...become one and no longer be separate. I was so used to being independent and on my own that when it came time to be a "twosome", I rebelled in a lot of ways. I was resentful for having to share things, like money or closet space...silly things. I didn't like that he worried about me when I wasn't with him and texted to see where I was or if I was ok. I felt like he was trying to spy on me, when he really just wanted to make sure I was ok...because he loves me and that's what people do when they love you. Which was another issue I realized that I had: I had been messed over by so many guys that I didn't believe anyone who said they loved me.
I am happy to report now, thank God, that quite a bit of our issues have been resolved, or at least addressed so that they can be resolved. And I realize more and more everyday that God really blessed me when he let our paths cross over two years ago. Tim is my Ephesians 3:20 man. I had an idea of what type of man I wanted to marry, what characteristics he'd have, what he'd look like...but God gave me more than I asked for in my husband. There were things I needed from him that I didn't realize and God made sure I got that too. Isn't God great? Before I married, I was single for almost 3 years and during that time I was determined to wait on God to lead me to the man He chose for me. I had grown very tired of choosing the wrong guy time after time so I gave up. I have not regretted my decision to wait on Him. I have not regretted my decision to wait and pray and make sure that I had inner peace about any man I spent my time on. After all, my time is precious and I can't get it back.
I'm sure he's had the same experience with me. I can definitely tell that he's been forced to grow and mature as well. I see a lot of changes in him in just under two years. For example, I can tell that he has a different perspective of what it means to be a man and to be the head of a household. He's taken charge more, which for him, being the baby in his family and all, is huge. I must say that I'm proud of him, though I probably don't let him know often enough.
As for myself, one thing I learned about myself is that I'm a very selfish girl. Everyone is selfish to a certain extent, some more than others, but as I found out after marriage, it isn't as it seems to merge your whole life with another person's. Yet, that's exactly what God calls you to do in marriage...become one and no longer be separate. I was so used to being independent and on my own that when it came time to be a "twosome", I rebelled in a lot of ways. I was resentful for having to share things, like money or closet space...silly things. I didn't like that he worried about me when I wasn't with him and texted to see where I was or if I was ok. I felt like he was trying to spy on me, when he really just wanted to make sure I was ok...because he loves me and that's what people do when they love you. Which was another issue I realized that I had: I had been messed over by so many guys that I didn't believe anyone who said they loved me.
I am happy to report now, thank God, that quite a bit of our issues have been resolved, or at least addressed so that they can be resolved. And I realize more and more everyday that God really blessed me when he let our paths cross over two years ago. Tim is my Ephesians 3:20 man. I had an idea of what type of man I wanted to marry, what characteristics he'd have, what he'd look like...but God gave me more than I asked for in my husband. There were things I needed from him that I didn't realize and God made sure I got that too. Isn't God great? Before I married, I was single for almost 3 years and during that time I was determined to wait on God to lead me to the man He chose for me. I had grown very tired of choosing the wrong guy time after time so I gave up. I have not regretted my decision to wait on Him. I have not regretted my decision to wait and pray and make sure that I had inner peace about any man I spent my time on. After all, my time is precious and I can't get it back.
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