Thoughts on showing Honor
I was reading some posts on Facebook and I started to get really annoyed. There are so many married people who have no problem bad mouthing their spouses in Facebook posts. And it's not just Facebook, but since that's where I was reading, I'll talk about that. Now I know that everything I am about to say will not necessarily be the thoughts of everyone else...Christian or not. However, this is my blog and people have a choice to read it or not, right?
As a Christian, I know that I am to honor and submit to my husband. I also know that my husband is to cherish and love me like Christ loves the church. Anyone who reads, or has read, their bibles are familiar with some of the beautiful things that Christ says about his beautiful bride, the church. He doesn't bad mouth his "bride". Every time he speaks of her, no matter how she is behaving at the time, he speaks of his "bride" with such love. Why is it so hard for us to treat the person WE decided to marry, WE decided to love, WE committed ourselves to, with that kind of love? I know that we are human and very much imperfect, but so are our spouses. But that's where grace comes in. We are to show grace to each other. We are to love with the love that 1 Corinthians 13 describes.
According to 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8...
Love is patient.
Love is kind.
Love does not envy.
Love does not boast.
Love is not proud.
Love is not rude.
Love is not self-seeking.
Love is not easily angered.
Love keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil.
Love rejoices in truth.
Love always protects.
Love always trusts.
Love always hopes.
Love always perserveres.
Love never fails.
Whew! Man that love is something serious isn't it?! At first glance it seems like something so high and unattainable...but this is how God loves us and this is how we should love each other.
So back to the Facebook posts...
It really started to bother me that so many people were bad mouthing their mates in public. I mean, where is the love? Where is the honor? To honor a person is to hold them in high regard, high esteem; to respect that person. Love requires action, it requires commitment because feelings are so easily influenced. If you are not committed to a person, your feelings toward them and willingness to endure with them can be very easily swayed.
It is hard enough for a man to be a real man in our world today...much less a Christian man. Men are being torn down left and right for so many things. They are being attacked and discouraged from doing the things they believe in their hearts are right. Christian men are also having to deal with the challenge of standing up for a God that many don't believe in ...on top of the struggles that men face in general. It does not help for him to come home and find that in a place where he should find peace and love and a sanctuary from the struggles and challenges of the world, he can only find complaining and bitterness and criticism and whatever else. Proverbs 12:4 says that a worthy wife is a crown for her husband. A crown is a symbol of honor and authority. When you are constantly tearing your man down with criticism and complaints, you are stripping him of his honor and authority. You are rendering him incapable of performing the role that God gave him to perform. How? By stripping him of his confidence to do so. When you add the public into it with all of their unwarranted comments and opinions, who knows what effect it has on him overall?
I think that it is bad form to bad mouth your spouse in public (or at all for that matter). I know that we are all imperfect people....myself included...and sometimes our tempers get the best of us and we say things we don't mean, but we all HAVE to do a better job of lifting each other up vs tearing each other down...especially us married couples. This world is a hard enough place to live in without adding to it by being at each other's throats when we should be supporting each other.
When you have an issue with your spouse, the person you talk to about it is....your spouse. Not Facebook, not your momma, not the friend who has had several divorces, not the single friend who can't keep a man....you should talk to your spouse. If the issue gets too big for the two of you to solve or push through on your own, then you can talk to a person you trust to give you wise counsel. Of course the first person you always want to look to for counsel is God.
Just some of my thoughts. :-)
As a Christian, I know that I am to honor and submit to my husband. I also know that my husband is to cherish and love me like Christ loves the church. Anyone who reads, or has read, their bibles are familiar with some of the beautiful things that Christ says about his beautiful bride, the church. He doesn't bad mouth his "bride". Every time he speaks of her, no matter how she is behaving at the time, he speaks of his "bride" with such love. Why is it so hard for us to treat the person WE decided to marry, WE decided to love, WE committed ourselves to, with that kind of love? I know that we are human and very much imperfect, but so are our spouses. But that's where grace comes in. We are to show grace to each other. We are to love with the love that 1 Corinthians 13 describes.
According to 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8...
Love is patient.
Love is kind.
Love does not envy.
Love does not boast.
Love is not proud.
Love is not rude.
Love is not self-seeking.
Love is not easily angered.
Love keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil.
Love rejoices in truth.
Love always protects.
Love always trusts.
Love always hopes.
Love always perserveres.
Love never fails.
Whew! Man that love is something serious isn't it?! At first glance it seems like something so high and unattainable...but this is how God loves us and this is how we should love each other.
So back to the Facebook posts...
It really started to bother me that so many people were bad mouthing their mates in public. I mean, where is the love? Where is the honor? To honor a person is to hold them in high regard, high esteem; to respect that person. Love requires action, it requires commitment because feelings are so easily influenced. If you are not committed to a person, your feelings toward them and willingness to endure with them can be very easily swayed.
It is hard enough for a man to be a real man in our world today...much less a Christian man. Men are being torn down left and right for so many things. They are being attacked and discouraged from doing the things they believe in their hearts are right. Christian men are also having to deal with the challenge of standing up for a God that many don't believe in ...on top of the struggles that men face in general. It does not help for him to come home and find that in a place where he should find peace and love and a sanctuary from the struggles and challenges of the world, he can only find complaining and bitterness and criticism and whatever else. Proverbs 12:4 says that a worthy wife is a crown for her husband. A crown is a symbol of honor and authority. When you are constantly tearing your man down with criticism and complaints, you are stripping him of his honor and authority. You are rendering him incapable of performing the role that God gave him to perform. How? By stripping him of his confidence to do so. When you add the public into it with all of their unwarranted comments and opinions, who knows what effect it has on him overall?
I think that it is bad form to bad mouth your spouse in public (or at all for that matter). I know that we are all imperfect people....myself included...and sometimes our tempers get the best of us and we say things we don't mean, but we all HAVE to do a better job of lifting each other up vs tearing each other down...especially us married couples. This world is a hard enough place to live in without adding to it by being at each other's throats when we should be supporting each other.
When you have an issue with your spouse, the person you talk to about it is....your spouse. Not Facebook, not your momma, not the friend who has had several divorces, not the single friend who can't keep a man....you should talk to your spouse. If the issue gets too big for the two of you to solve or push through on your own, then you can talk to a person you trust to give you wise counsel. Of course the first person you always want to look to for counsel is God.
Just some of my thoughts. :-)
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