Mommy time vs God time
One of the challenges I've faced as a new mother has been finding time to spend with God. It seems that when I want to sit quietly and read my bible or have conversation with Him, that's when my baby will need me. I tried to use his nap times as quiet time, but then he wouldn't sleep as long as he usually would. I tried to wait until he went to bed at night, but then he fought to stay awake until 2am, at which time this mommy is exhausted! I tried studying while he played, but then he only wanted to play if I was playing with him and would fuss and whine if I didn't.
The fact of the matter is that I understand that these are crucial moments in my young son's life, moments I'll never get back. I don't want to miss out on his wee years, but I do need time to allow God to refresh my spirit and to speak to me and pour into me. Being mommy takes a LOT of grace and I find that grace at the feet of Jesus.
But what if I can't get baby to cooperate? Well here's the key: flexibility. One day I may have to set my alarm to wake up a little earlier, the next day my son may go to bed earlier and I have an extra hour before bed. One day he may nap for 2 hours instead of one. Life now is not the same as my life before. Twelve months and 6 days ago I could do what I want when I wanted to do it. Life is a little more unpredictable and a little less stable than it was then. Don't misunderstand, my life is by no means falling apart. It's quite the opposite, actually. Although there is that certain instability from day to day, ironically it's that very instability that fulfills me so much more. I've never felt so needed and important than when I first saw my son's face. I've never felt like quite the center of another person's world like I am in my son's little world.
My son has this awesome image of me, but can I be as great as he thinks I am? First let me mention that I've realized that that the image of me in my son's mind is very similar to the image of me in God's mind. No matter what I do, where I go, or how long I'm gone, my child will ALWAYS be super excited to see me return. That warms my heart, but also helps me to "get" that God longs for me the same way. Such pure love in His heart for me...and my own heart mirrors that love. With that being said, I'm great because He is great. I long for God. My heart cries out to Him every single day. When I can't spend that special time with Him, there is a part of me that feels empty. I find myself more irritable, more stressed, more overwhelmed... In His presence I encounter peace and calm and restoration like a cool drink of water on a hot day. He reassures me that I don't have to do this mommy thing alone. He reassures me that even though the world is surely crumbling to pieces, He will hold me together and protect my family. The more I spend time with God, the more I will look like Him, and He is great in me.
The fact of the matter is that I understand that these are crucial moments in my young son's life, moments I'll never get back. I don't want to miss out on his wee years, but I do need time to allow God to refresh my spirit and to speak to me and pour into me. Being mommy takes a LOT of grace and I find that grace at the feet of Jesus.
But what if I can't get baby to cooperate? Well here's the key: flexibility. One day I may have to set my alarm to wake up a little earlier, the next day my son may go to bed earlier and I have an extra hour before bed. One day he may nap for 2 hours instead of one. Life now is not the same as my life before. Twelve months and 6 days ago I could do what I want when I wanted to do it. Life is a little more unpredictable and a little less stable than it was then. Don't misunderstand, my life is by no means falling apart. It's quite the opposite, actually. Although there is that certain instability from day to day, ironically it's that very instability that fulfills me so much more. I've never felt so needed and important than when I first saw my son's face. I've never felt like quite the center of another person's world like I am in my son's little world.
My son has this awesome image of me, but can I be as great as he thinks I am? First let me mention that I've realized that that the image of me in my son's mind is very similar to the image of me in God's mind. No matter what I do, where I go, or how long I'm gone, my child will ALWAYS be super excited to see me return. That warms my heart, but also helps me to "get" that God longs for me the same way. Such pure love in His heart for me...and my own heart mirrors that love. With that being said, I'm great because He is great. I long for God. My heart cries out to Him every single day. When I can't spend that special time with Him, there is a part of me that feels empty. I find myself more irritable, more stressed, more overwhelmed... In His presence I encounter peace and calm and restoration like a cool drink of water on a hot day. He reassures me that I don't have to do this mommy thing alone. He reassures me that even though the world is surely crumbling to pieces, He will hold me together and protect my family. The more I spend time with God, the more I will look like Him, and He is great in me.
As I write this, my son woke up from his nap suddenly, crying and looking around frantically for me. Right now I hold him in my arms and he is once again sleeping peacefully. That's what God does for me. When I'm anxious or panicky or tired or frustrated or whatever, He holds me close and comforts me so I can rest in His arms.
The bottom line is that I can't do this mommy thing without God. He's the one who trusted me with His son's life. He trusted me to stay close to Him so He can stay close to my son. I chase after God not only for myself, but for my son. God knows my little Zane better than I will ever know him. He knows how many hairs are on his head, how many breaths he'll take, what kind of man he'll be, what he was born to do... I trust God and spend time with Him to get instruction on how to raise him to be that man. My time with my King is crucial and precious in so many ways and I can't neglect Him. And neither should you.
So be encouraged mommy! I am primarily a stay at home mom, but being a mom is definitely a job in itself. But you are not alone! Not in your mommy duties, not in your struggle for balance, nit in your struggle for God. Know that we are in battle...we have to fight for our quiet time with God at times. The good news is that God still super loves you and He still longs for your time together! He knows you're busy and He is patiently waiting, so don't beat yourself up for missing your prayer time or study time, but do make time for your King!
The bottom line is that I can't do this mommy thing without God. He's the one who trusted me with His son's life. He trusted me to stay close to Him so He can stay close to my son. I chase after God not only for myself, but for my son. God knows my little Zane better than I will ever know him. He knows how many hairs are on his head, how many breaths he'll take, what kind of man he'll be, what he was born to do... I trust God and spend time with Him to get instruction on how to raise him to be that man. My time with my King is crucial and precious in so many ways and I can't neglect Him. And neither should you.
So be encouraged mommy! I am primarily a stay at home mom, but being a mom is definitely a job in itself. But you are not alone! Not in your mommy duties, not in your struggle for balance, nit in your struggle for God. Know that we are in battle...we have to fight for our quiet time with God at times. The good news is that God still super loves you and He still longs for your time together! He knows you're busy and He is patiently waiting, so don't beat yourself up for missing your prayer time or study time, but do make time for your King!
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